All in the Family
by Sheyrena Wyrsabane
Summary: Darcy is Coulson's younger sister and afters she discovers he's an agent, Fury brings her into SHIELD. Darcy is assigned to keep tabs on Jane Foster. An exploration of the brother/sister relationship throughout Thor and the Avengers. Told mostly through text message.


Darcy knows that older brothers hide things from their younger sisters, but she'd expected Phil to lie about normal things like how much porn he watched. That's actually the reason she's sneaking around on his computer in the first place, because he claims that he doesn't watch anything which she thinks is preposterous (SAT word, Phil would be proud, if you know, she wasn't poking through his room), and she doesn't believe him so now that he's on a date with Charity Limpkin (who he only kissed once on the mouth which is another lie because her name is Charity and she has a bigger rack than Darcy), Darcy goes through his files.

And that was how she found the video of her brother, in a full suit and sunglasses like he was in Men in Black or something showing off martial arts moves she didn't even know he'd known.

Phil comes back from his date, and she's still sitting at his desk watching the video on repeat, because that's her brother, and he's being a total bad ass.

"What are you doing?" he demands, rushing in and slamming his laptop shut. He almost catches her fingers and she turns to glare at him.

"You could've hurt me!"

"Haven't you ever heard of privacy?" Phil asks. "Get out of my room."

"You're grumpy," Darcy says, pouting. "What, Charity didn't feel like putting out?"

Phil scowls at her and that's when Darcy notices the bruise blooming on his cheek. She's seen pictures of Charity, never actually met her unfortunately, and she's not the kind of girl who punches someone across the face. Gouges out their eyes with fake nails? Definitely. But no punching.

"You weren't on a date," Darcy says. She looks down at the closed computer and remembers the suit and the sunglasses, and her mouth drops. "No way."

"Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong," Phil says. "Now could you please leave?"

"You're totally in the CIA."

Phil rolls his eyes. "I'm not in the CIA."

"You are too!" Darcy squeals and claps her hands. "You're a super secret spy."

"I'm not in the CIA."

Something in his pocket beeps, and he hesitates, not wanting to answer his phone with Darcy in the room but it beeps again, insistent. He sighs and pulls his phone out but Darcy snatches it away from him.

"Is this your handler or whatever?" she asks, holding the phone to her ear.

"This is Director Nick Fury, and you will hand the phone to Phil Coulson or I will kill you."

Darcy's eyes go wide, and she slowly hands it over to her brother. "I think I made your boss mad."

Phil sighs and hopes he doesn't get fired for this. Something even worse happens. Fury decides to add Darcy to SHIELD's covert staff, a sleeper agent until something comes up that requires special attention. Phil really hopes nothing ever requires the skill set of a quirky teenage girl who spends too much time drooling over Leonardo DiCaprio.

* * *

Big Bro to Fav Sis: Sorry I couldn't make it to your graduation. I'm proud of you!  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Don't worry. I covered for you. Told mom Briana had a pregnancy scare.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Not funny. And I'm not even dating Briana anymore.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: I'm hilarious. Fake dating. You never dated Briana. She's not real. Time for another psych eval?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Again, not funny. Debrief time. I'll have a drink for you when I get off duty.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: I'll have several  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: No you won't. You're underage  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You're a spoilsport, you know that?

* * *

Big Bro to Fav Sis: How's that political science degree coming along?  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: I hate govt  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Careful. I'm a part of the govt  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: The shady part. How's the saving the world thing going?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Almost got killed by a giant robot, but I'm fine.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: YOU MET TONY STARK?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: That's what you care about?  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You said you're fine. I moved on. So, is he hotter in person?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: He drinks too much. He has a terrible temper. He's like an overgrown child. His assistant is hot though.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Ask her on a date.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: No.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Aren't you tired of dating imaginary women?

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Are you ignoring me?

Fav Sis to Big Bro: You're a jerk.

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Since you just saved Tony Stark you think you could get a day or two off? I miss you.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Miss you too. I'll talk to Fury.

* * *

Big Bro to Fav Sis: I got you an internship.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Did mom put you up to this? I'm not working on Delaney's campaign. He's a scumbag, and I'm pretty sure he cheated on his wife.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Not that kind of internship.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Oh man! Do I get a gun?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: This is why I told Fury you were a bad idea.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Fine. No gun. Taser?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Only if you promise to cooperate when I show you how to properly use one.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: We haven't bonded over weapons since that time you taught me to use my backpack as a weapon.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: And Ben Hooper never bothered you again.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You're the best

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: I'm bored.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Welcome to secret govt work  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You always seem to have more fun  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: I don't have fun. I get bruises. I don't want you involved with that  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You also get hot men  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: I'm still not introducing you to Tony Stark  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Is it 'cause he caught you banging his personal assistant?

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Still bored.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Jane Foster is a genius. Try learning something.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Genius? She's trying to discover aliens from different dimensions. Most ppl call that crazy  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: If you're really that bored, Delaney needs a press secretary.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: I hate you  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: =D  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Emoticons change nothing

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Taser lessons were definitely good. Glad I paid attention.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: OH MY GOODNESS ARE YOU OKAY?  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Chill with the caps lock abuse. I'm fine. A little sore. We just loaded a body into the back of the van.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: THERE ARE BODIES!  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Just one. He fell from the sky.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Fell from the sky…?  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: I'll work on getting you details.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: I never should've let Fury bring you in on SHIELD  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: I appreciate your worry. Love you too.

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Jane's pissed and she's taking it out on me. You better make up for this big time. Also, you took my iPod. Jerk.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: I'll return it with some more songs added. Bieber good?  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: I will kill you.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: No, I'll tell mom what you do for a living  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: You wouldn't

Big Bro to Fav Sis: Okay! No Bieber

Big Bro to Fav Sis: I'm sorry! What do you want?  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Tony Stark?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: How many times do I have to say no?  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Fury says persistence is an admirable trait  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: The answer will always be no  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You're no fun. Also, the secret agent routine was hilarious. I almost started laughing  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: You're not mature enough for this  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Thor's shirtless again. Oh man. So hot.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Case in point

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: I TASED A GOD! I TOOK OUT A FREAKING NORSE GOD! I ROCK!

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: I think Thor digs Jane. Bored again.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Have you learned anything useful?  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Nope  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Wait, there are three people knocking on the door. I think Thor knows them  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: On my way

* * *

Big Bro to Fav Sis: There's a giant fire breathing robot headed your way. NOT A JOKE. Get out of there  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Don't worry, Thor's going to take care of it  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Just kidding, he just got owned. Definitely time to run  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Not bored anymore. Running for my life. Love you.  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Love you too. Don't die

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: THAT WAS AWESOME! I'm no longer bored  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: That's it. You're done working for SHIELD  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Are you kidding?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: YOU ALMOST DIED!  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: SO DID YOU!

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Just admit it, I'm right  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: I worry about you  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Don't, I was trained by the best

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Jane's still pining over Thor. Any chance you can help her speed up her research?

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Also, this internship is cutting into my college career. I had big plans for senior year. Do you know how many drink specials the college bars have for seniors?

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Jane's not a genius. She has no idea I'm an agent. I don't think she even knows I'm a polisci major and have no business working with her

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Hey, is everything all right?

Big Bro to Fav Sis: Sorry. Thor's brother broke into HQ and stole something. Tracked him in a copter but got shot down. We're assembling the Avengers.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: WOAH! Does that mean I get to meet Tony Stark?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: This is serious, Darcy. He took Selvig and Clint. Someone's on their way to bring you and Jane to a safe house. Don't give them a hard time.  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Okay. Be safe.

* * *

Big Bro to Fav Sis: CAPTAIN AMERICA!  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Did you ask him to sign your trading cards?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Working up toward it. Think I freaked him out when I told him I watched him sleep  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: …You have problems.

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Jane showed me pictures of the Avegners. They're hot  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Ulterior motive for locking you away from them  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You're no fun  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Brb, Loki's trying to provoke the Hulk

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: How did the Hulk crisis go?

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Did the Hulk destroy the plane? Are you okay? Text me back

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Oh my goodness he did. Please text me back.

…  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: What the hell is going on? Text me back.

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Phil?  
…

* * *

No one will tell Darcy what's going on. The agents guarding her and Jane are tight lipped, and she knows something's wrong, because they keep touching their fingers to their comm pieces and nodding at voices Darcy can't hear, and every time they do their frowns deepen and it's not fair that no one will tell Darcy what has happened.

The only thing she's gathered is that the plane has not crashed, and the Avengers are fighting Loki in the middle of Manhattan, but she got that from the news and not the stupid agents. There's no news on her brother. She tells herself that it's because he's obviously kind of busy fighting a guy bent on world domination, but something doesn't feel right.

Jane, of course, is working. She'd shown a flash of human emotion, and Darcy was going to congratulate her on it, but then Jane had shrugged said 'there's nothing we can do' and went to back to her notes.

Darcy wants to strangle her. Her brother is up in the sky somewhere, not answering his cell phone, quite possibly dying, and Jane wants to work?

* * *

Darcy hadn't been serious when she thought her brother might have been dying. Her brother is Phil Coulson, the biggest badass around. He can't be dead. He can't be.

Tony Stark is the one who tells her, swooping into the safe house, still in his Iron Man suit. He lifts his helmet when he lands in front of Darcy, and Jane actually looks up from her computer.

"Thor would've come but he had business to take care of," Tony tells Jane, and Darcy can't even be excited that Tony Stark is standing in front of her, in his super hero suit, because her brother still hasn't answered his phone. She's left four voicemails, even though they both hate talking on the phone and only do it once a week when they call their mother, and he hasn't responded, but maybe it's because his phone got destroyed between the Hulk and Loki and everything else.

"Where's Agent Coulson?" Darcy asks not caring that she might blow her cover.

Tony's face clouds over, and Darcy's afraid he's going to start crying. "He didn't make it."

Darcy's eyes widen. No. No, no, no! "What do you mean? He didn't make it? What's that supposed to mean?" She knows her voice is getting higher and that at any second she's going to completely come apart, and she's yelling at Tony Stark, but she doesn't care.

"Loki stabbed him," Tony says. "I'm sorry."

"No!" Darcy screams, and she shoves at Tony's suit. He doesn't budge. "He's not dead, damnit!"

"I'm sorry," Tony says again, trying to hug her, but he's still in his suit so it's probably not as comforting as she would've liked.

Darcy wipes her eyes and squares her shoulders. "Take me to Director Fury."

"What?" Tony asks, but she's determined, and he doesn't want her to start crying again so he sighs and picks her up.

* * *

Director Fury only seems mildly surprised to see Darcy, and he doesn't try to stop her as she marches up to him and starts beating her fists on his chest.

"How could you? You were supposed to protect him!"

"He died for his team," Tony says, somewhere behind her. "We couldn't have come together without him."

Darcy's hands pause, and she looks up at Fury, hot tears rolling down her face. "You used him?"

Fury actually looks worried, and he holds his hands up. "He-"

Fury doesn't get any further, because Darcy pulls out her taser and tases him. He drops to the ground, and there are suddenly a dozen agents surrounding Darcy. Two of them grab her arms, one of the rips the taser from her. They drag her away from Fury, and she slumps between them. Her brother is dead.

* * *

It's a good thing Darcy's taser has been confiscated, because when she finds out that Fury lied and her brother is alive, but in deep recovery, she has half a mind to tase him to death.

She's the first person Fury tells that Phil's alive so she forgives him a little bit, and then rushes to Phil's recovery room.

He's asleep, and he looks fragile with the sheet delicately wrapped around his waist, and the IV in his hand and the thin hospital gown hanging off his shoulders. She holds his hand that doesn't have a needle in it and squeezes. He's going to be okay.

She digs her phone out so she can call her mom.

"Hey mom."

"Thank goodness you called! I've been trying to reach your brother, but he hasn't been answering. Have you heard from him?"

"I'm with him right now," Darcy says. Tears are prickling at the corners of her eyes. "He was in Manhattan."

Darcy's mother sucks in a sharp breath. "Please tell me he's okay."

"He's going to be," Darcy says, her thumb running over the back of Phil's hand. "He's going to be okay."

* * *

Fav Sis to Big Bro: Tony thinks it's hot that I tased Fury  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: You're talking to Tony Stark? I'm coming and stopping this  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You're on bed rest, remember? I'll send his PA over to keep you company  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: She's CEO now  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: You into powerful women?  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: We're not having this conversation  
Fav Sis to Big Bro: Love you  
Big Bro to Fav Sis: Love you too.


End file.
